The Official Opening Day Trade News Topic 2006!

Forum Newspaper

-April 1, 2006



Crisp never even got to play a single game of ball in beantown. Just as soon as he got there he was shipped off to Minnesota along with starter Kyle Snyder. Coming to Boston are veteran outfielder Rondell White, pitcher J.D. Durbin, and outfielder Denard Span. "great trade," says Red Sox GM, thesoxrock34. "i got a pair of prospects for my average CF"



In 2001 Manny Ramirez played his first game for the Red Sox. 199 home runs later he leaves and goes to Arizona. Arizona pays a dear price, a few solid prospects, Carlos Quenten (RF), fan favorite Luis Gonzales (LF), Stephen Drew (SS), and Juan Cruz (SP). "I mean, who wouldn't do it?" asked Red Sox GM, thesoxrock34. "I get a 3/4 starting pitcher 2 great prospects and a decent replacment for Ramirez." The Red Sox are also sending cash considerations to Arizona.




Ben Sheets has been a long time ace of the Milwalkee Brewers. Now he finds himself leaving the brewery to go to the Beantown. Sheets, Weeks, and Cordero leave Milwalkee to go to Boston. Boston is sending a plethora of prospects, veterans, and aspiring rookies. Wily Mo Pena, Jon Lester, Mark Loretta, Dustin Pedoria, Jason Place, Charlie Zink, and Jermaine Van Buren have officially left Boston to go to the land of beer. "brb" was all that Brewers GM, brewersfan255, was able to say.

I like my part

Hank Blalock's tenure in Texas and Chris Capuano's tenure in Milwalkee didn't mean squat as they are both traded. Blalock has been a consistant force in the Texas lineup as he could easily smash out 30 HRs a year. Capuano is a starting pitcher who has had his struggles but pulled out a solid year. "i got a young stud 3B for a average SP" says brewersfan255.



Not even 24 hours after learning he was going to Minnesota, Coco Crisp is now packing his bags for Detroit. He and Trevor Plouffe, a shortstop prospect in the Twins system, are going to Detroit in exchange for starter Nate Robertson. Robertson has been a league average starter his entire career and is yet to hit 200 innings pitched.



Authorities have reported suspicious and possibly sexual activity between a certain pair of Twins, a pair of Red Sox, and a couple of angels. The underage twins reported recieved a "Jered Weaver" and an "Alex Gonzales. The minor said that she had to give up her "Jason Barlett", "Torii Hunter", "Adam Harben", and "Scott Baker". The Angels reported the activity claiming they were forced to remove their "Chone Figgins", "Erick Aybar", and "Kendry Morales". Mike Lowell said he left the Red Sox because they were cheating on him with the White Sox. "Well, the only reason I accepted was because I was getting a 'Figgins' and 'Morales'" says Red Sox GM, thesoxrock34. "it messed up a bit..." he lated commented. Authorities are on the lookout for the renegade sexual predator.

The Republican party has chosen pitcher Mike Myers to be their representative for president. Myers has the world record for most 1-out appearances and it has taken him far. "As much as I liked to keep a low profile I think this will really help my political career," says Myers.

Young ace Rich Harden leaves Oakland to go to the Minnesota Twins. The Twins are sending Matt Moses, Chris Parmelee, Brad Radke, Carlos Silva, and Jose Roshambeau. Radke went into a mad fury. "I PITCHED WITH INJURY FOR SO LONG AND NOW I HAVE A FREAKING SHOULDER STRESS FRACTURE!" he shouted. "AND NOW I'M IN THE MINORS!"



Josh Beckett and Kevin Youkilis won't be in the Beantown any longer as Sean Casey and Mike Maroth come to fill their spots. Also coming is CF Curtis Granderson. The Red Sox are giving up a minor league player to be named. "I was sad to see Granderson go," says Red Sox GM, thesoxrock34. "So it all went well." He concluded.



Milwalkee has gotten young 3B Edwin Encarnacion and RF prospect Jay Bruce and gave up shortstop Bill Hall. Cincinatti's trade has angered experts. "Those kids today," says Bill Cosby. "They listen to the rap music with their hippin' and the hoppin' and the bippin' and the boppin' so they don't know what the jazz is all about!" He continued to ramble incoherantly.

Thats not what I said. I said i was sad to see Granderson go in the Cabrera trade but it all worked out well.

Ponson has been notorious for eating things back in St. Louis but this takes it a big too far. It was recently discovered that some of the things he had eaten have lodged themselves into his gut and he is having digestive troubles. A surgury will be performed to remove these foreign objects. Ponson did not comment.

Yankees team captain, Derek Jeter, was asked on his thoughts on the subject. "The guy is a living eating machine," he commented. "Does anyone have a marker? I need to mark my lunch so Ponson knows not to stuff it down his mouth."

Very good work, Giants...

SanjiWatsuki wrote:

[center]
Sidney Ponson, seen here eating inedible objects

Boston has obtained 3B phenom Andy Marte but gave up Trot Nixon, Gabe Kapler, and Manny DelCarmen. Cleveland also dumps a load of payroll on Boston with Paul Byrd and Jason Michaels. When asked to comment Paul Byrd gave us the bird.



Cincinatti has sent SS prospect Paul Janish and major league starter Elizardo Ramirez to the DetRocks for an even worse pitcher, Wilfredo Ledezma. How did this trade even pass?



Catcher Todd Greene and right field prospect Nate Schierholtz go to Milwalkee in exchange for CF prospect Tony Gwynn Jr, the son of the famous Tony Gwynn. Gwynn is said to have taken his contact and eye from his father. "We gave up an old backup catcher and a RF that I hated in exchange for the son of one of the game's best," says Giants GM Sanji Watsuki. "Schierholtz said he'd buy me a beer if I didn't trade him. Too late."



Arizona fans were shocked to see RF prospect Carlos Gonzales be traded for Randy Flores, relief pitcher. Flores put up a 3.46 ERA last year. I can't think of a joke.